Tuesday, 05 August 2008

  • The Gamut of Male "O-Sexuality"

     
    First, the fundamentals:

    HETEROSEXUAL   - adj, noun

    sexually attracted to members of the opposite sex

    HOMOSEXUAL   - adj, noun

    sexually attracted to members of your own sex


    Then the media circulated two new gems:

    METROSEXUAL   [ref]   - adj, noun

    a heterosexual male who has a strong aesthetic sense and inordinate interest in appearance and style, similar to that of homosexual males

    See also:  "European"

    GASTROSEXUAL   [source]   - adj, noun

    a heterosexual male with a passion for the art of cooking, an activity stereotypically associated with women, and is highly involved in the kitchen


    And now, I'd like to introduce even more varieties of male "o-sexuality" (coined by yours truly):

    EGOSEXUAL   - adj, noun

    a person with a strong sense of self-importance and such high standards that he (or she) has great difficulty being attracted to others

    He's incapable of loving me because he's egosexual. The only person he loves is himself.



    FRODOSEXUAL   - adj, noun

    a heterosexual male who shares a particularly close fellowship with his male friend(s) and engages in unabashed male bonding

    Evan and Seth were clearly very comfortable with their frodosexuality when their fledging man-crush became a full-on bromance. *Boop!*

     


    HALOSEXUAL   - adj, noun

    a heterosexual male whose love life sux0rz because he is too busy pwning other men playing video/ computer games

    Jenny was surprised when Joe asked her out. He'd never shown any interest in girls and was always too occupied with his halosexual lifestyle.

     
    ( I didn't want to use images of real people, but these were the only ones I could find quickly. My apologies, boys!
    I sincerely hope that one day you'll find your "console-mate". )


    Believe it or not, I fell in love with a halosexual. He wasn't as hardcore as other gamers and he's not nearly as committed since he graduated college. But when he got into it, nothing (and I mean nothing- not even RL activities rated M or AO ) would pull him away!   Luckily, Derek is also a gastrosexual and enjoys cooking delicious meals for me. WOOT!


    Do you know any guys who are metro/ gastro/ ego/ frodo/ halo-sexual?


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