Monday, 23 June 2008
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Happiness: Fire vs Water
When I was younger, I chased after a type of happiness that could best be described as a fire. It burned bright and hot, but it burned fast. Winning tennis matches; making new friends at summer camps and college; flirting with my latest boy-toy; dancing my heart out at parties and on stage; acing exams and feeling smart... They were all such an intense burst of energy, a blazing rush of adrenaline and endorphins.As I grew up, I started to develop another kind of happiness that could be described as a substantial body of water. It was calmer, but deeper. Sharing a profound connection with my husband; enjoying a low-key weekend; dancing at home while swiffering.. in my undies; understanding that there's so much more to learn and accomplish; dedicating my time to meaningful ventures; developing a stronger sense of self-worth... These joys flow slowly, steadily, and quietly.
Both kinds of happiness are wonderful to experience. But in my opinion, "fire" is overglamorized by Hollywood and overhyped by the youth culture, while "water" is somehow underrated. Yes, fire seems more exciting and powerful. But don't mistake the gentleness of the water's surface for lack of strength. And although fires are easier to form, they are also quick to burn out and dependent upon fuel from external factors. On the other hand, water can actually help you stay afloat during the rough times thanks to the uplifting force of buoyancy.
[ A collage of images of "water" happiness - calm, steady, deep, and buoyant. ]
I see a lot of young people chase "fire" after "fire" to grab whatever short-lived happiness they can get their hands on. This includes people I really care about, like my younger sisters who are still in college. I sincerely hope that as they get older, they realize that true happiness is from within and not dependent upon external stimuli. Adrenaline and endorphins make for fun times, but hardly equal a fulfilling life.
What are your thoughts on "fire" happiness vs "water" happiness? Have I grown wiser by realizing the worth of more "grown-up" types of pleasure? Or am I just a lame, old, married lady who can't handle the heat anymore?
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Comments (42)
wow this is a lovely entry. i still think i'm going through the fire stage... the instant gratification... am looking forward to settling down and enjoying things at a steadier pace
can fire and water mix? because i see myself sometimes at one stage..and some days at another....
@emotionallynotavailable - Oh, yes. You can definitely experience both at the same time. But I think a lot of young people (I was guilty of this as well) chase after instant gratification (fire) without working on a proper foundation for a rewarding life (water). It takes a lot more time and effort to develop the latter!
@spiritedsherry - wow this is such a great post. i totally agree with you~
fire, water, wind, earth, HEART!
captain planet! he's our Hero! *sings*
I think I need a little more fire now that you mention it :)
Thank you for sharing.... food for thought.
=P
I've ended up in a minor debate/argument/skirmish about .... my chase for fire?
I think a little water could be used now.
^_^
@Yosho - hahaha is it weird that i was thinking the same thing when i clicked ...
@spiritedsherry - this is an awesome post. its hard to stay content and follow in even the most peaceful and happy of paths. i know that when i've been in my water stage, sometimes i feel like im drowning myself and need to ignite my life again. the fire burns me out and scorches everything i built within water. im learning to find my balance and realize that its never one way or the other absolutely.
This is a great entry! You've successfully described what I started to call, "getting old!"... but I definitely like your description and now I've had the "ah ha!!" moment as to what that REALLY is... so I'm not getting old but just calmer, and wiser? I hope so....
Lately those are what my days consists of and the simple joys life has to offer in every relationship I encounter. It's really about my quality of life and the quality of me I can give to these people in my life. We definitely cannot live LIFE without WATER. It is essential to sustaining a fulfilling and worthwhile life.
Thank you for a wonderful entry.
as there is time for everything, i think it is timely for the young and reckless to pursue such fiery endeavors to learn of the soothing nature of water that has yet been experienced.
i think we need both the deeper rewards of water with a jolt of fire here and there. it makes for a fulfilling life and a young soul.
This is very well put. I definitely agree with you on your take of "fire" and "water" happiness.
Water always wins when fighting with fire. I'm def in the water stage after getting married.
I wonder if we finally settle on water after we get married...
when we're young we aspire to be ambitious and successful,
and it isnt until youve finally proven yourself 'worthy' that we can finally enjoy peace...? i dont even know...but my fires just warming up :P
I love this post. And I don't think you've turned into a "lame old married woman". lol. Or if you have, I think a lot of us have reached that point as well!
Very well written. I agree with much of your post.
I never heard of it put that way, but I completely agree. I'm certainly dedicated to finding water happiness, but I'm currently stuck in the flames.
i have almost always, always been super water my entire life. i am definitely someone that needs more fire in my life. but even with such a hyper-watered life, i am overall pretty happy.Â
I think it takes some experience with Fire to appreciate Water. It's a shame though to learn it so "late" in life. I think I would have been happier if I wasn't out chasing Fire. We've been thinking a lot of about our own lives, our future and the way we want to raise our someday kids. You're so right - media has a lot to do with it. Just a simple example, my niece and other little girls I see, want to be Princesses! I just feel like 'wanting to be a princess' is setting yourself up for huge disappointments later on in life. And we spend much too much time, effort and money chasing Fire when Water is right there to be had and so much deeper and enduring.
a shot glass is a good (and mature) idea for a friend, thank you!
i think after getting burnt too many time by fire, we find the need for water. but i think getting old and settling for water doesn't make your life any less fun. i for one never really chase after fire. perfect content with just water :)
you've so perfectly put into words what my heart has been feeling for a while... thank you!
I'm definitely in the fire stage right now. But your post made me realize that it's exactly that--a stage. In the long run, I know I'll be happier with water, and I realize I can't spend the rest of my life chasing fire. The only question is when I'll stop and take the plunge. Great post!
love this entry. i am definitely a fire chaser/starter. perhaps one day i will settle myself into the water.
but i think a perfect balance would have both .
I love the point about internal and external happiness. I think I base my happiness on external factors, the fire. I need to learn to find more of the internal peace of water.